Greetings. I’m a father now. More on that later.
I’m very happy to be back. Let’s dive in.
GHIN
As I write this, I’m in the midst of a seven-match losing streak against my friend A.J. It’s brutal. His course, my course, neutral sites. It doesn’t matter.
The Midnight Troubadour
Tough and timeless, this polo is built for the long ride. Featuring a crisp, non-collapsing collar and a rugged, stretchy fabric, it's the perfect shirt for any cowboy's wardrobe.
I’m including this for a few reasons: First, because he’s worked hard, improved his game and played some very nice golf and he deserves his due. But also because it’s helped me realize something important that I’ve become very thankful for.
A.J. and I became friends a few years ago when I moved to Milwaukee and we were thrilled to learn that both of us were 6-handicaps. This, of course, meant that we could play matches straight up, without strokes. “Real golf,” as Randy, Neil and PacMan Jones would say.
Our first two matches were both dead ties, with each of us sinking big putts at the final hole to even up the day. Even our third match was tied when we got to the 18th hole. I finally got him, 1 up, which I only include because it was the first and last time I beat him since we started keeping a spreadsheet of match results.
Part of what makes golf great is that the handicap system allows people of all skill levels to (theoretically) play an evenly matched, competitive game against each other. That system works great. But as someone who is typically on the receiving end of strokes from the people I play with, I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t something just a bit hollow about “winning” a match when the other guy clearly and objectively played better golf. (Hopefully, Soly isn’t reading this, because our matches are exempt from this feeling.)
What’s most fun about finding an equal sparring partner like this is that even as your handicaps drift apart, as they often naturally do, both of you know that you’ll always see each other as the players from those first matches. And the thought of giving or receiving pops will repulse both sides forever.
When Tron first moved to Florida, we played dozens of matches straight up and had back-and-forth slugfests. His game has since taken a leap that I can’t keep up with. He’s clearly a better player than me, but every time he’s forced to give me two a side, we both feel a little grimy because we know how much more fun it is to be on a level playing field. If you have a golf friend like this, I hope you appreciate how great of an asset those even matches are.
My practice has plummeted this fall and A.J. has gotten consistently better. Realistically, our handicaps are no longer the same and the fine people at the USGA would be pulling their hair out watching us continue to play straight up. But each time I get beat, the itch to get back out and play again gets even stronger. And when the streak finally ends, it’s going to feel so much better than any 5-for-4 ever has.
TONIC
My wife Justine and I welcomed our first kid back in September, a little boy named Charlie. He rules (or at least he seems to – he doesn’t say very much). We are over the moon and enjoying every minute of it.
Since Charlie was born, I’ve gotten countless messages from people who are about to become parents themselves. Here are a few stray notes and thoughts from the past two months for them to take or leave (and for experienced parents to hopefully get a laugh at):
• The most important takeaway of the earliest days was simply to stay ahead. You can’t get behind in the count because you have no chance to hit a 2-strike cutter. You have to anticipate, plan your next move and maximize your time, which is something I’ve never been very good at. If you have five minutes to do the dishes, those are the five minutes to do them. If you’re getting ready to give him a bottle, think of everything you might need within arm's length over the next 30 minutes. The last thing you want to do is realize you left his pacifier downstairs when the shit hits the fan (or your arm).
• The weather over the first month was a joke in Milwaukee. Mid-60s, leaves changing, cool breezes off the lake. As a result, Justine and I both quickly realized that long walks served the multiple purposes of:
a) Getting out of the house and feeling like a human being
b) Getting some much-needed exercise
c) Giving the other person a quiet house for an hour or so
I would almost always opt for the baby carrier over the stroller on these, which I love. Sometimes we would just walk to the coffee shop, sit outside on benches and watch people go by. The best.
• Of course all the cliches are true and spectacular: The awe you will have every day for your partner, the fact that there are varieties of patience you didn’t even know existed, etc.
